Monday, October 4, 2010 | Monday, October 04, 2010
我想哭觉得无助， 不知道应该向你怎样说出心中的苦。曾经拥有我就无怨无忧。
I felt miserable.
Friends.
R/s.
Money.
I hoping for someone, who share my pain with me.
Wipe off my tears and lend me a shoulder.
In my 19 years of life, people comes and goes.
Rmb when I was Kindergarten, I only had 1 best friend.
Her name is Carina.
We played together. We slept together. We eat together. We studied together.
Both our parents doing business at the same building.
We see each other almost everyday. Mon-Fri in sch. Sat and Sun at dad's office.
We lost contact ever since we went to different primary school.
When I was in my Primary 1 at Fuchun Primary Sch, i had none best friend. 0.
Yes, i mean Z-E-R-O Best Friend.
I moved house to Hg when I was Primary 2, studied at YCKPS.
I had 2 best friends. First it was Claris Pang (P2, P3)
We went to each other house weekly. Our mothers know one another well.
We are from different world, her studies were excellent. I am stupid, i'm in EM2.
Because of our results, one from heaven, the other from hell.
We stopped talking to one another, and eventually the friend's feeling fade off.....
When i was P4, P5, P6, the other best friend came to me life was Alice Ng.
We were from the same CCA - Netball.
We were from the same class.
We do many things together. We have many common areas of interest.
Burden I'm always the stupid one. Exam always fail. Play too much.
Then after we move on to secondary school. life changed.
We lost contact...
In secondary sch (HS), my first best friend in secondary sch life was Vivien Tang.
Till now, we were still as close.
Though we quarrel before, i childish before too.
We find one another troubles, ended up becoming best friend.
Next was Kelly Toh and Melissa. We had already ended the friendship dues to personal issues.
i shall not enclose it here.
Lastly is Ke Ting. Though we know one another in sec 3.
I find her very reasonable. She always see the facts and not people.
I admired her attitude to choose friends too. She aint selfish.
We became close and till now, i'm proud to say, she is one of my sister i consider now.
Beside school, at work.
I met Esther. Its a coincidence that we actually had the same ex bf before! (though she denies it!)
The friends she knew, partly i knew. hah.
She is definitely the one who knows everything about my friends, my problems too.
too much to express to her. burden i was attached,
i neglected her and ke ting.
Sigh, i'm sorry for being so busy. Yes i admit, i'm with bf most of my free time.
But I also have work and studies. I really dont mean it not to meet you guys.
No matter what happens, Ke Ting & Esther will always be standing at the same priority as my bf.
i mean it.
After all this rain and shine, thanks Ke Ting & Esther for being such a friend.
Always here for me. No matter how little we meet, how little we chat, how little etc..
Next I would also like to apologize to my boyf.
i dunno what's wrong. i just felt like i'm sorry to everyone.
Everytime i just wanted to share my sorrows with you.
I didnt mean to turn things out nasty. I dont want to make you angry.
I just feel very very very extremely miserable.
I really need you.
I need someone to wipe off my tears for me, tell me not to cry.
Tell me you will always be here, lending me your shoulder.
Do You Know?
I may look strong to you, i'm not.
(my tears rolling down my cheeks when i was writing this post)
its my first and very first post i wrote to say out the things i bottled up for very long,
- this to my girls and current boyf.
I wish it will be a Good Night for me.
*cries*
